1. Every Lie I’ve Ever Been Told
2. Phoenix
3. Brimstoned
4. Mimic
5. Cringe Watching
6. Millard Fillmore
7. The Long Con
8. Coexist
9. Outlaw Life, Pt. III
10. The Large Medium on Small Street
11. Grover Cleveland
12. Every Lie I’ve Ever Told
every lie that i have ever been told
coalesces and messes with my mind
and corrodes my bleach blonde bones
every lie that i have ever been told
spreads through my chest like thriving ivy
and grows and grows and grows
“i” before “e” except after “c”
the tip of your tongue is for tasting things that are sweet
if you believe, you can achieve
go compete for your basic needs
be anything you wanna be
everyone deserves a second chance
if you touch that baby bird their mother will never come back
your goldfish went to live with her family in the erie canal
candy next to the checkout lane is not for sale
marriage is heaven, marriage is hell
separate but equal, don’t ask don’t tell
the killer whales at marineland are balanced and well
contrails are chemtrails you can tell by the smell
you’ll end up a burnout unless you go to college
and once you get there you’ll write exclusively in cursive
the tomato is a vegetable
flattery will get you nowhere
everyone is special
hey kid, you deserve a medal
anti-fascists are the real nazis
(i was just following orders)
abortion is basically murder
(i was just deciding for her)
real men don’t shed tears
bubblegum will plague your colon for 7 arduous years
you lose most of your body heat through your head
better dead than red
make america great again
bats are blind
you’re such a nice guy
smoke pot and you’ll die
have sex and you’ll get aids, and then die
we use just 10% of our brains
no pain no gain
the rainbow is worth the rain
the great wall of china is visible from space
she’s in a better place
she’s in a better place
every lie that i have ever been told
is crammed in the back of an 18 wheel tractor-trailer
and i’m lying on the road
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hello mother june
i miss you more than the sands miss the rain here in phoenix, arizona
i know you miss me too
you just never learned to read or write
i swear i’ll find a better life
i’m doing fine
so ease your worried mind
sit back and close your eyes
yeah, yeah
this land is a paradise
and the people are so very nice
i’m happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life
in my whole life
cause there’s no line at the supermarket
the shelves are always stocked
no one robs or rapes or slaughters
you can leave your door unlocked
the butlers have their own butlers and they tip with priceless gems
the streets are paved with iphones and no one lives on them
and there’s always pristine water falling freely from the faucet
our moldy old flat would fit inside my new closet
all the billionaires were once squalid beggars
and all the supermodels were once grotesque lepers
so i’ll spend my nights bleaching toilets and scrubbing mildew
one day i’ll make a fortune and i’ll send it back home to you
hello mother june
i miss you more than the sands miss the rain here in phoenix, arizona
hello mother june
i miss you more than the sands miss the rain here in phoenix
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the devil is my new best friend
we hang out every weekend
goodbye loaves of bread and fish
hello lobster benedict
get sunday brunch and play xbox
lure fattened lambs from their flocks
retweet movie spoilers at midnight release
drown the sheep in the mainstream
though he’s the lord of darkness
he has lightened my harness
it’s a miracle i survived all this time without satan on my side
he lives in an inferno
still cooler than you though
handles his conflicts with more tact
and a fraction of the fake facts
you never were as real to me
not half as sincere to me
as the prince of pure deceit
when i get married my best man will be beelzebub
cause he’s easier to trust
sweet beelzebub
when he stabs you he comes from the front
oh beelzebub
coiled horns and cloven hooves on full display
my pal beelzebub
you’ll meet him for yourself one day
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i don’t want to fight you
i’m a pacifist at heart
but if you’re gonna start
you should know that i know kung-fu
i’ve seen every bruce lee
yip man one, two, and three
i ordered a black belt
half off on qvc
float like a viceroy
sting like a hoverfly
mimicking spite in spite of having none
firing blanks in range of loaded guns
mimicking fight when flight means losing ground
no one knows i’ll go down in the first round
i don’t want to fight you
i’m a pacifist at heart
but if you’re gonna start
well let me crack this pool cue
i should have traded those bar tabs for guitar tabs
i should have stayed home
for a fraction of the price
i could have been just as alone
float like a viceroy
sting like a hoverfly
mimicking spite in spite of having none
firing blanks in range of loaded guns
mimicking life inside an empty husk
mimicking light despite the destined dusk
i’m not fishing for sympathy
i’m not wishing for certain death
in the stripes of a bumblebee
and the shade of a hornet’s nest
with a stolen identity
i am waiting with bated breath
i don’t know if it’s allergies
or some switch flipped in my head
i don’t know if the remedies
are worth all the side effects
float like a viceroy
sting like a hoverfly
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fake and sad like a sitcom laugh track
or a live set with lights to let you know exactly when to clap
you’re not half bad, you’re all bad
you’re all bad
you’re such a bad actor you could have a future at cbs
in one of chuck lorre’s incestuous comedy fests
you’re two-faced enough to play all two and a half men
and you’re immature enough to play young sheldon
you’re going down, down, down to
LA-ME
LA-ME
fake and sad like a sitcom laugh track
or a live set with lights to let you know exactly when to clap
you’re not half bad, you’re all bad
you’re all bad
you want the world to know your name but you’ve never set foot in cheers
you think you’re so savage but you’ve never starred in boy meets world or the wonder years
you think you deserve a second chance
just look at how fuller house turned out
you’re all going down to
LA-ME
LA-ME
LA-ME
LA-ME
fake and sad like a sitcom laugh track
or a hack cast who’s drained their stash of barely passable story arcs
you either die a hit or live long enough to see yourself jump the shark
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where have you been?
your car has been gone for days on end
i need a friend
this is what i get for putting all my eggs in one basket
i taught myself to play solitaire
but I cheat every time
i started becoming self-aware
and finished losing my mind
hide behind the drapes all day till it goes away
the fed-ex guy could be the next john wayne gacy
the worst kind of evil is unobtrusive and latent
i’m fairly certain that my neighbor is satan
he claims to be on a jamaican vacation
i pretend to believe his information
but I digress, i’m vomiting nonsense
without you, i’m a mess
i die and rise from the grave
gnashing my fake fangs
stick a stake in me, i’ll burst into flames
where have you been?
i’ve been drinking gin and tonics
reading kropotkin in bed
where have you been?
i need you more than you need me
what’s wrong with codependency?
it’s just then, as i’m hanging by a thread
i get a text that says, “hey nathan meet me at the monument”
a bronze likeness of a president who died long before you and i were alive
i need more
i want more
i need more
i put on pants and lock the door
when i finally track you to the statue
you’re holding a stolen bottle of jack from the liquor store on west ave
some habits are hard to crack
my cherished kleptomaniac
we walk down the path, and your chest lifts
you frantically list all the things you wish would exist in your life
i don’t get a word in edgewise
but that’s fine, i really don’t mind
cause i love to listen to you whine
i love to listen to you whine
i love to listen to you whine
i love to listen to you whine
i love to listen to you whine
you lean in close and whisper in my ear
everything i’ve wanted to hear for the past four years
where you’ve been, where you’re going
and exactly where i fit
you utter five final words, then you split
will you keep my secret?
i’ll tell you everything
if you lie for me
if you lie with me
will you keep my secret?
i’ll tell you everything
if you lie for me
if you lie with me
(will you keep my secret? i’ll tell everything if you lie for me)
(will you keep my secret? i’ll tell everything if you lie for me)
my lips are zipped tight as a vice grip
locked and silent
private and classified
cause i know where my future lies
a crimelord could capture me
smash my fragile kneecaps
still my faith will not lapse
because i know where my future lies
isis could threaten to send me to infidel hell
still I will not tell
because i know where my future lies
the cia could take me to guantanamo bay
waterboard me for eight days straight
still i will not sway
i will not give it away
cause I know where my future lies
my future lies within your lies
my future lies within your lies
my future lies within your lies
will you keep my secret?
i’ll tell you everything
if you lie for me
if you lie with me
will you keep my secret?
i’ll tell you everything
if you lie for me
if you lie with me
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i’m not confident, man
i’m a confidence man
scamming myself
lying to everyone else
i have this recurring dream
where you thrust a jewel-encrusted trident through me
and we both laugh and laugh and laugh uncontrollably
i have this weird fantasy
where I’m trapped in a submarine 30,000 ft deep
and I’m running out of air to breathe
and I feel so guilty that i feel so relieved
i get out of bed
drop my heavy head
there’s a civil war era bayonet stuck through my heaving chest
and the grey-green bile drips down my stick-thin legs
it collects in a pool until i’ve got nothing left
i die and then i wake up
but i still feel the effects
i’m not confident, man
i’m a confidence man
scamming myself
lying to everyone else
i’m not confident, man
i’m a confidence man
scamming myself
lying to everyone else
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if you only do one thing today
doxx your local neo-nazi
and look the other way
i have no tolerance for intolerance
their swamp monster holler will give your ears cholera
oOoOoO i hate your guts
ooOOoo i hate my guts
i read dostoyevsky in public and hunter x hunter in my bed
i regurgitate quotes from large books i’ve never read
come on, deep thoughts, impress the ones i love and the ones i want
i extract my identity from the media I consume
i’m shallow as a kiddie pool and empty as a tomb
your words are sperm
my mind’s a barren womb
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together forever
my love, i’ve seen the light
together forever
my scum, i’ve seen the light
so write me off and ride on into the night
together forever
well that’s a goddamn lie
together forever
at least we tried
so write me off and ride on into the night
so write me off and ride on into the night
i won’t go after you
i won’t rally the troops
i won’t go after you
i won’t unearth the truth
i won’t waste my time searching for what’s already dead
there’s a price on your head
there’s a price on your head
it’s nothing you don’t deserve, but it’s a lot more than you’re worth
there’s a space in my bed
there’s a noticeable divot in my mattress
it’s nothing i don’t deserve
i just prefer to be mocked with words
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there’s just one thing that i might do with any sort of aptitude
i take it back cause even that perhaps requires too much tact
the rope’s too loose, the gun won’t shoot
do i take the red pill or the blue?
i youtubed how to tie a noose but ended up with fingers bruised
my palms are too smooth
crystal balls lose their views
tell me who do i call when my future falls through
the large medium on small street told me my life was incomplete
i could tell she was bluffing, but she just wanted to help me
because i was on the edge, see
and she walked me back
she walked me back
she walked me back
maybe lies could be a good thing
maybe deceit can be healthy
maybe my songs aren’t helping
and that’s the crux of what scares me
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august
darts in the garage
pop in mason jars
pinky fingers tangled
in python strangling trust
and in a sudden gust
of flying dust and hormone soaked debris
you left me on the balcony
cabbage green and lifeless as a bust
i know my life won’t go exactly as i planned
i know my feeble deeds can’t stand up to your achievements
i’m unsure of the specifics, i don’t own a tweed jacket, i’m no historian
i’m disproductive and unglorious
but what i know is you were from buffalo and your name was grover cleveland
yeah, they built a statue of you and the plaque beneath reads grover cleveland
they built a high school on the west side, and the sign above reads grover cleveland
they built a highway on the tail end of route 63 between eggert and main and they named it grover cleveland
i wrote a song for all the promises i break and i called it grover cleveland
your legacy’s been whitewashed
immortalized in bronze
it looks like it cost a whole lot
but you’ll still rust and i’ll still rot
your buddy millard fillmore sits across the stairway
two lovers intertwined flank his base
whispering sweet nothings locked in glacial embrace
heaven knows i’m clinical now
invisible, divisible, hospitable now!
but somehow you open up your mouth
your metal lips split and a voice pours out
believe you me, kid
the media spins facts so fast you need a dramamine
twists em and dips em in kerosene
they unleash the disease and sell ya the vaccine
i’ll never hurt myself or anyone else ever again
i swear i’ll be a better friend
i’ll have your money by tomorrow
and from this day forward, you will be my number one priority
i’m going to donate 10% of my paycheck to the conservation efforts of the giant panda
i’m going to plant a tree
i’m going to show mercy to the next spider i see
i promise to become the very best i can be
i promise to never get angry and leave
i promise to always stand up for the weak
i promise the end will justify the means
i remember reading nietzsche in english 301
metaphors are lies, words are lies, all language is a lie
and at the time i found him long-winded and pretentious
but now that i am long-winded and pretentious, i think he might have been right
when i die and pass to the other side
every person i’ve ever let down will be laid out on a giant cosmic dartboard
you will be the double bullseye and i will be the triple twenty
and i will hurl the shards of every promise i’ve ever broken
for all eternity
i spit a bitter mix of fact and fiction
explicit diction
cause i’m fucking terrified that you won’t be impressed by my lyrics
self-indulgent muck
precocious, genius kind of stuff
sometimes i forget which lines i’ve lived and which i completely made up
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every lie that i have told
grows like mold inside the walls
cholesterol in ventricles
pinholes in the outer hull
and every lie that’s slipped my lips
brought comfort like a morphine drip
till i became a true addict
i always pick the quickest fix
(every lie that i have ever told)
(every lie that i have ever told)
every ill-conceived untruth
let loose in my foolish youth
flew like fugitive balloons
popped and turned to turtle food
and all the tall tales that i spread
fall like slaughtered hydra’s heads
sprawl like silken spider webs
stall like centrist sedatives
(every lie that i have ever told)
(every lie that i have ever told)
every lie i’ve ever told
has far outgrown my student loans
i’ll pay for both until i’m old
i’ll reap more than i’ve ever sown
every lie that kept me warm
congealed into a buzzing swarm
revealed my true and gruesome form
a blacklight in a college dorm
every single lie that i have told
all conspire and revolt
overthrow my phony throne
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